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watchmegrowup's Journal

watchmegrowup

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[01 Jan 2007|03:56pm]

7 Years of Friendship
Year 1
“Erm…you are from my class right?” Yeesh, she looks just as confused as I am, we have similarities!
“…yeah…” Why is this weirdo talking to me?
“Oh! Ok! Me too!!” Yay, a new friend!
“Ah…I know.” Didn’t she just imply that we were from the same class? What a weirdo.
“Oh. Er, so hi! My name is Annabelle, what’s yours?” A new friend, a new friend!
“I’m Ivy.” I think I am going to regret this.
“Okay, hello Ivy!” Hah, Annabelle and Ivy, Ivy and Annabelle, what a nice ring to it!
“…hi.” This is so tiring, why is she so happy?
“Great! Now that we know each other…you are going to be my best friend!! I am never going to leave you!”
“Huh? Best- what?!” She’s crazy!
Grin.
“Best friends, Ivy! That’s what we are gonna be! I am gonna stick shamelessly to you like glue; and nothing on earth is going to pull me away from you. Hah, that rhymes!”
Blink.
“…erm…okay…”
What have I gotten myself into?

Year 2
“Go to the library with me?”
“No.”
“Please?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to go home to watch the telly.”
“But…but…you have a VCR don’t you?”
“Still no.”
“But-”
“No.”
“Ivy, you are so mean! Why do you want to go home so early? It’s so boring at home! It’s only past noon. Please?”
“I want to watch my TV.”
“But there’s nothing on now!”
“You are wrong. There’s always something to watch.”
“But-”
“No! I don’t want to stay in the library for four hours to watch you look at your romance novels, you pervert!”
Scowl.
“Pervert?! What pervert! What do you have against romance novels anyway? I always skip the sex scenes, I will have you know.”
“Hmmph. So you say.”
“It’s true! And stop changing the subject, you are going to the library with me and that’s final!”
“No.”
Silence.
Then, “And you can’t make me.”
“Iiiiiiivvvvvvvvvvvvyyyyyyyyyyyyyy………..Don’t be so mean!!!”
“You are the one who’s mean! I don’t want to go, stop forcing me!!”
“Pleeeeaaaassseeeeeee?” Cue puppy eyes. “I don’t wanna go to the library alone!”
Annoyed look.
“No. And stop pulling my bag, I don’t want to go and that’s final.”
“But Ivy-”
“No! And stop dragging me by my bag!”
“But-but-”
“I’m warning you, Annabelle, let go of my bag now! Before it snaps-”
Riiiiiipppp.
Long silence.
“Annabelle.”
“Eh…eheh…sorry?”
“My bag!”
“Uh…It can be fixed back, right?”
Glare.
“The strap is broken into two, Einstein. How do you fix that back?”
“…sorry…”
Exasperation.
“Arrgh. I’m not going to be bothered with you anymore. Quit irritating me!”
A very small, “Ok.”
A blissfully silent walk to the bus stop.
Then, “Ivy?”
A long sigh.
“What?”
“Are you really sure that you don’t want to go to the library with me?”
“Annabelle.”
“Yes?”
“Do you want to die?”

Year 3
“Ivy, I think that we are drifting apart.”
Incredulous look.
“We are not drifting apart, idiot. We are just in different classes.”
“Yeah, I know! But you finish so early most of the time and I finish so late, and I don’t get to see you anymore. I miss Ivy!!!” Cue teary eyes.
Exasperated eye roll.
“This wouldn’t happen if you didn’t insist on joining the best class in school, you know.”
Sigh.
“Yeah, I know. But my mom wants me to get in. It’s kinda stressful there, and everyone backstabs the other at the first opportunity. I don’t like it there at all, and I miss Ivy!!”
“Arrgh, quit acting like you haven’t seen me for years. You still do see me everyday, you know.”
“But just passing glances and things like that. I want more, I want to be able to gossip together in class and laugh at other people’s lame jokes and do everything like we used to!”
“You are still doing that, you know that right? You butt into my classroom so often that all my classmates see you as one of ours already.”
Wry grin.
“Yeah, I always go to your class, but you never come to mine. Sometimes I feel like I am the one making all the effort to maintain this friendship.”
Sideways look. Long sigh.
“I don’t like your classmates; that’s why I don’t go to your class.”
Sad grin.
“Yeah, I know. They are kinda snotty aren’t they?”
“Hmmph. At least you are not like them.”
“Haha. I will take that as a compliment. I think.”
Mock frown.
“You are so troublesome.”
“Thank you, thank you very much.”
Rolls eyes.
“Whatever. What time does your class ends today anyway?”
“…5. You end at 2, right?”
“Yeah.” Muted grumbles. “I will wait for you.”
Hopeful glance.
“Really?”
“No, I am lying just to see that silly look on your face. What do you think?”
“Ahahaha…Ivy won’t be so mean, right? You are really going to wait so that we can go home together, right?”
“…yeah. So go back to your class now before I change my mind. Your incessant chattering is irritating my classmates.”
“I’m not! I will have you know that they like me very much- Oh hi, teacher!!”
Frantic waving.
“An-na-belle…”
“Haha, don’t give me that scary look, Ivy. I’m leaving now ok? See you later!”

Year 4
“Hey, so you want to go to a polytechnic or a junior college?”
“I don’t know. If I go to a junior college I will have to take arts. What about you?”
“Huh. My parents want me to go to a junior college. Taking Biology, Chemistry and Maths.”
“Well, your grades are certainly good enough to take science. Unlike me. Maybe I will go to a poly instead.”
“What are you going to take there then?”
“I dunno. My brother recommends Aerospace Electronics. Aviation industry.”
“Wow. That sounds so cool! Unlike boring science! I want in too!”
Pause.
“What?!”
Blinks.
“Aerospace Electronics sounds really interesting. If you go, I wanna go too!”
“But you can go to a good JC, why do you want to go to a poly for?”
Cheerful shrug. “But I don’t wanna go to a JC if you are not going. There will be nobody to help me de-stress afterwards, and I am going to miss Ivy sooooo much!!” Teary eyes. “Then Ivy is going to meet so many new and interesting people in poly and forget about me….”
Disgruntled frown.
“Can you quit talking to me in third person? And trust me, you are definitely staying in my memories for a long, long time…it’s kinda hard to forget someone like you anyway, and what about your parents?”
Determined glint.
“My parents…I think that they will understand. Besides, they have guided me for sixteen years already! It’s time I choose my own path, right?”
Disbelieving snort.
“You are such a Daddy’s girl. I bet that you would get lost while ‘choosing your own path’.
Sunny grin.
“That’s why I got you, Ivy! Mom always says that you are a lot more sensible than me…”
“Hmmph. That’s because you are always so frivolous and never think before you act.”
“Haha. Yeah, I will admit that. But you are here; you balance me out. You are my voice of reason, sort of. Besides, haven’t I warned you the first day we met? I’m sticking to you forever and ever!!!”
“Hmmph. Not if I have a say in it. Get far away from me woman, I don’t want you.”
“Ivy!!!”

Year 5
“Soooo….where are we going for dinner tonight?”
“I don’t know. You decide.”
“Huh. I’m not sure what I want too. There are so many shops here; what do you feel like eating?”
“I don’t know. Anything is fine.”
Exasperated look.
“Ivy! There is no such thing as ‘anything’ on the menus here!”
“Exactly. So you have to choose.”
“But why do I have to be the one to do the choosing every time we eat out?”
Roll eyes.
“Because, unlike you, I am not very picky about what I eat.”
“Hey! I resent that! Are you implying that I’m spoilt?”
Smirk.
“I think that’s a universal fact already, Annabelle.”
Narrowed eyes.
“Ivvvvyyyyyy!!! How come you are so mean?! And I’m so hungry!! Choose something!!”
“Anything is fine. You choose.”
Growl.
“I don’t care! Today I am going to break tradition! I’m going to force Ivy to choose!”
Amused grin.
“May I remind you that you have been trying for a long time already and have never succeeded yet?”
Glare.
“I shall prevail this time, never fear!! Bwahahahahahah!!”
“…”
“So! What do you feel like eating? Fast food? Chinese? Coffee Bean? Pasta? Restaurants? Marche?”
“I don’t know. You choose.”
“Ivy! You choose!”
“No. You choose.”
“No. You choose.”
“No. You.”
“No. You!”
“You.”
“You.”
“You.”
“You. Look, we can stand here and do this all day. I really have no preferences. Anything is okay, unless it is too expensive.”
“But that’s still a very wide range! Can’t you choose for once, pleeeaaasseee?”
“Annabelle. What do you feel like eating today? We will just go there.”
Glare.
“I feel like hugging your legs and biting you right now. Can I do that?”
Pointed look.
“We can stand here blocking other people’s way while discussing this and you are going to go hungry even longer, or you can cut short your self-imposed torture and we can go get something and eat already.”
Squinty-glare.
“I hate you.”
“Yeah, whatever. So where to?”
Gusty sigh. Grumble.
“So many choices…You are so mean to make me choose all the time. I think I am going to die early from all this unnecessary stress…erm…I feel like eating the fries from Long John Silver’s though…”
Smug look.
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
Sour glance.
“Ivy! I will succeed in wheedling you to choosing one day! Just you wait! I won’t give up until I get what I want! Bwahahahaha!”
Odd look.
“What’s with that evil laughter?”
“Huh. I don’t know. I am very hungry, you know. Yosh! Let’s go get those fries now! There’s this very hot packet of potatoes with my name on it!”
“…idiot.”

Year 6
“Hey, do you think that I’m fat?”
Incredulous look.
“No. You are so skinny already. Why?”
“I don’t know. I want to slim down more. I am fifty-two kg now, I want to hit forty-five!”
Quiet glance.
“You really are very slim now, you know?”
Cheerful smile. “Yeah, but I want to see how far I can go!” Yawn. “…but I don’t know why though…I get so tired and sleepy all the time now…”
“That wouldn’t happen if you actually ate something once in a while.”
“Hey! I do eat!”
“Yes. Only fruits and the such. What are you, a hamster?”
“No…but for everything you want, you have to give back something else.”
“Don’t you feel yourself getting sick more often? And if you actually ate properly you wouldn’t feel cold all the time in school.”
“That’s true. But I just want to know how it feels like to be that skinny. After being overweight for so long, this is like an entirely new territory for me to explore, and I am very curious!”
Rolls eyes.
“What you are doing is unhealthy. The vomiting and the extreme dieting. You know that.”
Frown.
“Yeah. But I stopped the vomiting thingy already, I promise!”
“Whatever. Just don’t do anything foolish.”
Grin.
“Of course! I would never do anything stupid!”
“Hmmph.” You already do.
Long silence, then
“And Ivy?”
“Yes?”
“Thanks for caring enough.”

Year Seven
“I can’t believe you skipped school for one whole semester.”
“Hey, it wasn’t on purpose! I had pneumonia! Viral pneumonia. It was sheer hell, you know. And I would have preferred to come to school if I could.”
“Yeah. The lab technician told us about your sickness.”
“Huh?! How did he know?!”
Wry look.
“The gossip vines here are very alive, thank you very much. Turned out that the lecturer who called you to enquire about your absence told another lecturer who told another who told the lab tech. Then he told us, or rather, the entire Aerospace cohort who wanted to know or bothered enough to listen.”
Surprised look.
“Oh. I didn’t know that my sudden disappearance from school was such fodder for gossip.”
Exasperated sideways glance.
“You just said it yourself. You disappeared suddenly from school. No explanation, no anything. Of course people would be wondering what the heck was going on.”
“Oh.”
Long silence. Then,
“You are my bestest friend in the world, Ivy. I’m sorry that you had to find out this way.” Fidgets about awkwardly. “It’s just that I didn’t want you to…worry too much. And…er…I don’t want you to see me at my worst. Foolish pride, I suppose, but you are my best friend and your opinion matters the most…Are you mad at me?”
“No…”
Hopeful look.
“Really?”
Rolls eyes.
“Yes. Really.”
Relieved sigh.
“Phew. Ok. I was really worried there for a moment. For all its worth, I will not keep things like that from you ever again, though I sincerely hope that I would never get as sick as I did. It really was hell, Ivy. The hospitalization and everything.”
“Hmmph. You are always so weak. Weakling!”
“Hey!!!”

Present/Future
“Ivy, what are we going to do after we graduate from polytechnic? What are you going to do? Sign bond with SIA? Continue studying in the university? Join the Air Force?”
“Hmm. I am not sure actually…”
Sigh.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. I have no idea what I want to do either.”
“My brother says that it’s going to be very hard to find a good job next time, so the best option would be to go to the University.”
“Huh. But we are about to come out from three years of hellish lectures and final year projects and attachments! You want to throw yourself back into that again? So soon?”
“Then what else? Try SIA? You might want to go in but they may not want you.”
“Huh. You are right. So what are we going to do?”
“Dunno.”
Long sigh.
“This is so stressful, and we aren’t even going to work yet. I don’t want to grow up!”
Exasperated stare.
“That’s not funny.”
Indignant glare.
“I wasn’t trying to be funny! Things were so much easier when we were young and ignorant and could not wait to grow up! Now we have to make so many decisions that I get tired just thinking of them.”
“That’s why it’s called ‘growing up’, you goon.”
Longer sigh.
“I know…”
Silence. Then,
“I know! Ivy, I know what we can do already!” Jumps up and down excitedly.
“What?”
“Let’s just forget all about our hard-earned diplomas in Aerospace Electronics aaaannnnnddddd…”
“…”
“…and?”
Grins.
“And eke out a living cleaning public toilets!!”
“….......”
“Annabelle.”
“What? Not a good idea?”
“Do you want to die?”

Seven years, Ivy, and still going strong eh?
May our friendship last for as long as we both want it to be. If it was just me I know that I would be selfish and wish for forever, as corny as it sounds. Happy New Year my friend, I cannot wait to see what this year has in store for us.
Love,
Anna
Monday, January 1, 2007

Speak up or be bullied

[29 Dec 2006|11:01pm]

[ mood | blank ]

I have just realized something very embarrassing. I can recall my best friend's hand phone number with no problem whatsoever but ask me for my own and my mind goes blank. This is really terrible. I really don't know whether to congratulate myself on having netted myself a friend with such excellent memory for numbers or to be appalled by my own general forgetfulness. Gee, just don't ask for my particulars during an emergency, I will probably give you the wrong information. On the brighter side, you can always ask Ivy, who I am practically attached to at the hip. She is always reliable!

..............

I don't know why I am posting this entry. Feels very redundant, but what the heck, I just reformatted my laptop (just for the fun of it) and am testing out Semagic again.

2 spoke up | Speak up or be bullied

[14 Dec 2006|01:41am]

Money makes the world go round. That's true right?

I know that this probably does not connects to my first sentence, but why do we give our friends presents for birthday, for christmas, for special occasions? Why?

For your best friend, you walk past a shop, you see something really nice, and you think immediately: 'This really reminds me of her. I think that she will like it very much.' And then you go in and get it, with no consideration whatsoever for the price or the occasion, or whether it would be useful or if it would just be sitting on a shelf gathering dust, and you give it to her the next time you see her, just because. You give, but in the deepest recesses of your heart you do not expect anything in return, only anticipating to see the surprise on her face, as well as to hear her mumbling something about a waste of money. But you feel good, and you grin, because that's what the best friends do for each other, and those are the little surprises in life that makes it worth living.

Then for those who are one level down, those who are 'just friends', classmates and people you know generally...

I really don't know why, I am no social flutterby, nor am I emo and downright anti-social, but I actually find myself with a lot of friends like these, despite the deceptive but blissful lack of 'friends' on this journal (thank god). It really doesn't matter that I have known them for years, but this is as much as most will mean to me no matter how much chemistry I share with them, no matter how much we can talk and how well we can click. I have serious trust issues, and I am just too damned lazy to source for more best friends. One is troublesome enough, and I simply do not share, simple as that. I monopolize, I get jealous, I bite. See what I mean when I say having more best friends are very troublesome? It is so much easier to find just one, and then stick to her like a barnacle for the rest of your life. Hehe.

But that's not the point. The point is buying presents for casual friends.

Honestly, I don't bother. Yeah, I have to admit that my head is stuck far up my backside most of the time and that I am usually oblivious to dates and special occasions until the very day itself and I hear distorted voices all around me wishing the person a happy whatever-occassion it is that day. Either that, or someone would be kind enough to inform me that blah-the-blah's birthday is coming soon so do you wanna chip in for his pressie or what?

Well, I'm not that mean to say no. I always nod my head and fork over the money dutifully, but god help me if I have to go get his present myself. Sometimes I really admire those people also known as the life of the party. They have lorry loads of friends; and how the hell do they manage to come up with so many original gift ideas 365 days a year anyway?

I know that I certainly can't do it. Too troublesome and too many brain cells have to be sacrificed at the end of the day so I'd rather not. I just provide the cash and in the end everyone is happy. Birthday boy is happy that everyone had remembered his special day, and I am happy because birthday boy is happy. Win-win situation.

You probably think that I'm evil and insensitive now, I know. But if you really bother to think about it, people come and go. So do friends. If you spend so much and effort trying to keep and please so many friends around you, how will you ever have the time to make sure that those who really matter stays?

Well, you win some and you lose some, I suppose, but then again, this is not what I want to write about (boy, do I always deviate from my subject much).

Back to presents.

Would you give birthday presents to someone you barely know? What would be your motive for giving them presents, I want to know. Again with the trust issues, but I get very suspicious when people I hardly know smother me with gifts on my birthday. I know that I am supposed to be grateful, and I am, really, but there is some part in me who worries what I will have to do next time to 'return the favor', so as to speak. What is your motive? Do I have something you want? Are you trying to win my loyalty? Is it because that I am smart and you figure that I would help you cheat during tests just because you present me a little gift? Or I have a really 'hawt' friend that you want to know more about?

I am paranoid right? But sometimes things really seem this way, and honestly, honestly, if you ask nicely and not hide your intentions behind gifts and flowers, chances are that I would definitely help out as well.

You see, that's the reason why I don't do things like go buy stuff for everyone. Granted not everyone would be as insanely suspicious as I am, but I stand firm by this: Take the time to buy a gift for someone only when you really mean it. Select everything yourself from the present all the way to the color of the giftwrapper, and give it to that person yourself. Watch them smile, feel yourself smile, and that's all you'd expect. Not favors, not expecting for them to give you presents when it's your special day, and definitely not so just to keep up appearances and show that you care when you actually don't. And if you are just buying for the sake of buying...

I won't waste time on that.

Money makes the world go round right?

I think you know what I mean.

Speak up or be bullied

[17 Jul 2006|01:03am]

I just found this and I wanted to keep it. Kinda funny.

Oh, Hell
By James Whitcomb Reilly

Oh Hell--just what is meant by this word Hell.
They say sometimes it's cold as Hell,
Sometimes they say it's hot as Hell.
When it rains they say it's Hell they cry,
And it's Hell when it's dry.

They hate like Hell to see it snow,
It's a Hell of a wind when it starts to blow.
Now how in the world can anyone tell,
What in the Hell they mean by this word Hell.

This mad life is Hell they say,
When he comes in late, there's Hell to pay.
When she starts to yell it's a Hell of a note,
And it's Hell when the kids you have to tote.

It's Hell when the doctor sends you his bills,
For a Hell of a lot of trips and pills.
And when you get this you will know real well,
Just what is meant by this word Hell.

Hell yes, Hell no, and oh Hell too,
The Hell you don't and the Hell you do.
And what Hell of a Hell it is,
The Hell with yours and the Hell with His.

Now where in the Hell and oh Hell where,
And what the Hell do you think I care.
But the Hell of it is it's sure as Hell,
That we don't know what in the Hell is Hell.

1 spoke up | Speak up or be bullied

[05 May 2006|03:19pm]

[ mood | amused ]

[ music | Anna ni Isshodattanoni ]

I really don't understand the use of Friendster.

I mean, I understand that the purpose is for you to keep track of your friends, but how many of us will be so busy that we cannot just call and talk to our friends, and even need a computer to catelogue the number of friends that we have? Come on, we are not Lee Kuan Yews and Goh Chok Tongs, just normal people. How hard can meeting up with friends be?

Sometimes I cannot help but feel that this website has become something like a mating ground. Bleah. It is disgusting to even think of it. Guys and girls put up their pictures, write cute, witty stuff about themselves, and proclaim themselves to be single, sexy and available (if you are that great, then WHY on earth are you still single??). What different is this from a Single's Ad, you tell me?

God, and what's worse, I don't think that people have seen it for what it really is. I see my friends and classmates spent so much time painstakingly filling in their profiles, some even changing them every so often (like once every few days). Then it is off to upload as many pictures of themselves as they can : a) acting cute b) acting cool c) looking very stupid in general (can you believe that some of them even take photos of themselves in the toilet? Geez)

Friendster is for friends to hang out with each other right? Then when did it become a place for people to flaunt how many friends they have? Is it like a badge of honor or something if you have like 500 people on your friends list? I think that it is pretty fake. How is it that you can have 500 friends or so and yet still have enough time to hang out with each and everyone of them? You probably won't even have time to come online to Friendster to approve Friend Requests. I don't know, this feels a little odd to me, that's why I am pointing it out. Don't you find it funny too?

Now I admit that I too have a friendster account, and once in awhile, I do log on to approve of friend requests of people that I have NEVER heard from before. I really have no idea why I do it too, but it seems evil to reject a request. Honestly, there are more than half of the people that I have on my friends list that I do not recognise, or even know. But what the heck, I don't really care. My account is created more for observing the mating habits of the popular and the pretty. I have no particular wish to be too involved in either pursuits, but you gotta admit this one thing, the human nature is really fascinating. The things that one will do just to be 'in the crowd'.

Speak up or be bullied

[01 May 2006|12:30am]

God. It is that time again. You know, that time when you generally get very irritated and feel like the world is very annoying and you can't help but wish that everyone would just drop dead?

No, it is not that time of the month.

It is the General Election. The most redundent, time-consuming, resource-wasting activity that mankind had invented. Why does Singapore need to hold a GE when we all know that outcome already? Come on, in the end, victory will belong to PAP, just like the don't know how many thousand GEs before this one. I don't understand why does SDP and WP and whatever peas out there keep thinking that their puny teams would turn the tide against the big bad PAP, and in the end, save the day.

Save the day from what? I can happily tell you that most of us Singaporeans are quite happy with our constituencies, thank you very much. Either that, or we really can't be bothered. After all, we got better things to do than to watch a bunch of pea heads fight over the right to upgrade our lifts. Yup, we Singaporeans are a very busy bunch of people. We have lots of things to do. Things like being self-absorbed, being kiasu, fighting the elderly for a seat in the MRT as well as working like dogs so as to accomodate the next GST increase. Of course, if all else fails, there is always shopping.

So back to the peas. What made them think that they can turn things round anyway? From my point of view, they are either very optimistic, or just plain stupid. Why do you keep blowing money on political campaigns when you know that you won't win? Maybe you don't know, which I doubt so. Maybe you are pretending that you don't know, but the rest of us sure do!!! Your political campaigns aren't doing much other than irritating the heck out of us commoners!!!!!

What's with all those sudden 'visits' to the heartlands wearing those godawful looking flower wreath thingies? You are doing a political campaign in Singapore, you didn't just touch down in Hawaii did you? If you think that wearing those flower arrangements would make you look more 'human' to us, you are wrong. Try f-o-o-l-i-s-h and i-d-i-o-t-i-c instead, Einstein. And you think that it will make us feel that you are part of us?? Look around you, do you see Singaporeans walking around in that horrible getup? Noooooo. You gotta be kidding me if you feel that way.

And boy do we feel your sincerity....like a punch to the gut. Why is it that we never see hair nor hide of yours truly unless it is somewhere near an election? All of a sudden at the mere mention of the GE, the bunch of you come crawling out from your cave like a hoard of ants, bleached teeth gleaming and lips pulled back in a semblance of a smile. Are you guys like some kind of cartoon organisation that needs to recuperate after a loss by hibernating or something? (think Team Rocket of Pokemon. Team Rocket Blasting Off Agaiiiinnnnnnnnnn!!!!!) Gee. And I have not even started on your cute little chariots of democracy. Lorries with flags of whatever peas and some coffeeshop chairs??? Man, do you really need me to start on the safety issues?

Grr...I have nothing against the pea heads....I mean that political parties. Really, I don't. It is just that all this fuss is really irritating me. The newspapers have nothing interesting on them anymore. Same for the telly. Life is extremely boring compared to normal. I just wish that this fuss will be over soon enough. It is no wonder that a GE is held once every 5 years. I can't imagine how it would be like if we have to do this every year. I will die first. Either that, or I will migrate. To the North Pole. I hear that weather is very nice up there. And that the residents eat politicians.

Speak up or be bullied

[26 Apr 2006|04:16pm]

Crap. I cannot believe that I am suffering from WB again, and I have not even completed one chapter. This sucks. I am not going to just leave it be this time though. By hook or by crook I gotta finish one chapter at least!! Gambatte!!

Dad's new car finally arrived. The Toyota Altis, if I am not wrong. I went down and took a look at the new car. It was plain grey in color, and I think that unflattering shade made it look...plain. It didn't look like a new car (though it is, technically) but I think that it probably will have the disgusting new car smell when one would sit in it. I hate that smell. It makes me feel like puking and gives me a godawful headache. Arrgh.

Bright spot of the day:
I got my DeG tours!! *does a happy dance around the room* I got Vulgar[ism] and 5 Ugly Kingdom (from Japan!! They are from Japan!! This is so cool!! Did I mention that beloved Mom bought them from JAPAN?!!!!) and later this weekend I am going to make a reservation for It Withers and Withers. Yep. Life is certainly good.

Back to my fic. I do not believe that I cannot finish one chapter by today.

Speak up or be bullied

[25 Apr 2006|04:41pm]

[ mood | good ]

I should stop procrastinating and resume writing my fics already. So far, I have been threatened in all kinds of ways by my esteemed readers, and recently TGWDB just crossed the 400th mark in terms of reviews. I mean, wow. I never thought that it would have done that well, but apparently it had, and I am suddenly reminded of my utmost duty to complete this fic before somebody really comes along to draw and quarter me up for being the irresponsible authoress that I am.

What can I say? Real life have caught up with me and have embroiled me so deeply within its self-absorbed embrace that I had been totally lost to the literary world for a year or so. But no worries, I am finally conscious enough to realise what is happening around me now. I am going to fight it. Things are so much simpler in fiction than in real life, I realised, and I missed this simplicity so much. I am coming back to my sanctuary, and no one is going to stop me from dragging this world-weary carcass back into this little heaven. Why I ever decided to leave was beyond me now. Maybe I had thought myself not worldly enough and had wanted to get out? I don't know. Maybe. But now I realise that I finally do know enough to want to come back here and never want to get out again, at least not for a long, long time.

Which is why I am opening up the files all over again to read (I am really horrible, and have done an injustice to my characters; I forgot about THE PLOT. Yes, someone shoot me now.), and already, I am starting to feel life slowly stir within the cobweb-filled matter between my ears.

Good. Very good.

Speak up or be bullied

[25 Apr 2006|12:15am]

"We make so many weapons out of cutlery. Gigantic fork trident. Gigantic knife sword. Gigantic spoon catapult. Can’t we all just get along without having huge food fights?"

"It's beyond me how a fat chance and a slim chance are the same thing, but a wise man and a wise guy are considered opposites. Walking fast isn't considered jogging slowly, and it's perfectly normal to drive down a parkway and park on a driveway."

"Vanity is my sister’s middle name. Or maybe her real name. Maybe she is Vanity in a human form."

"“How do I explain it? When things are right then they’re just right. You can’t force them. What you give is lust and passion and longing. That’s only half of what real love is. Without the other half, love might as well be dead.”

I felt my cheeks burning red. I never voiced this kind of stuff because I was afraid of sounding like an idiot. I had a reputation to withhold.

Cupid was shaking his head at me grudgingly but I could see that he was giving in. I almost felt as though I had struck a cord in him. I could see a bit of wonderment in his eyes. He moved his hands back so that I was no longer gripping his wrists. He spoke reluctantly, as though he was still trying to hold on to a bit of the spite but wasn’t quite managing it. “When did you have to go and get so wise?”

I snorted. “When did I have to turn into a hopeless romantic, you mean?”"

"Michelangelo: Good evening, Your Holiness.
The Pope: Evening, Michelangelo. I want to talk to you about this painting of yours, The Last Supper. I'm not happy about it.
Michelangelo: Oh, dear. It took me hours.
The Pope: Not happy at all.
Michelangelo: Is it the jello you don't like?
The Pope: No.
Michelangelo: It does add a bit of colour, doesn't it. Oh, I know, you don't like the kangaroo!
The Pope: What kangaroo?
Michelangelo: No problem, I'll paint him out.
The Pope: I never saw a kangaroo!
Michelangelo: Uh, he's right at the back. No sweat, I'll make him into a disciple. All right?
The Pope: That's the problem.
Michelangelo: What is?
The Pope: The disciples!
Michelangelo: Are they too Jewish? I made Judas the most Jewish.
The Pope: No, it's just that there are 28 of them.
~Monty Python (...or so we think)"

Speak up or be bullied

[12 Apr 2006|03:27am]

“You are the devil’s advocate, and I am his obsequious slave.”

“Things happen. People change, they desert you. Or maybe you push them away. But that doesn’t really matter; the pivotal point is in our reactions. Do you fight to keep the person that leaves? Do they struggle to keep you, when you’ve turned your back?"

"How does one live, without their heart?"

"I saw in her eyes how my words tore her apart. But I didn’t feel empowered by this. Revenge wasn’t sweet. It was cruel, and hideous. It ripped me apart just as much as it did her. She lifted a hand to rub my back, the classic motherly touch, but dropped it back down with defeat."

"There was no doubt in my mind that she had loved him, but love was as varying as the people who professed it. She loved him for calling her beautiful, and for giving her the time of day, and for really seeing her. She loved him because he was her first date, first kiss, first boyfriend…and first heartbreak. But none of these loves were sturdy or eternal."

"It was almost funny how much I cared and how much that told me he did too, when we didn’t even know how to say hello. Instead we opted for soundless goodbyes."

“I was just wondering how people stay friends for so long when they’re always changing. I mean, what if one person changes too fast for the other? Or what if they change in different ways, and then it’s impossible to stay together? Or even worse, what if one person’s changed and you can see them moving away from you, but that person doesn’t care enough to try and stop it?”

Speak up or be bullied

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